HeijiXKazuha Life Story Playlist
by psykostevey999
Summary: Title speaks for itself. Their life to the tune of a few choice songs. You'll like it, trust me. I DO RECOMMEND YOU LISTEN TO THE SONGS BEFORE READING, IT ADDS TO THE EFFECT. new chapter up I plan on doing at least two more chapters so stay tuned
1. Over and Over by Three Days Grace

In accordance with usual ritual of admiration, Kazuha walked next to Heiji as they made their way to school. She looked at him with infatuation, which was seemingly unrequited.

_I feel it everyday_

_It stays…the same_

_Its dragging me down_

_And I'm the one…to blame_

She hated herself for being so weak. How could she do this to herself? She would ponder thoughts of this nature throughout their walk until, as always, they arrived at the school and her attention was temporarily redirected to different subjects. Such was the norm, for her.

_Over and Over ____Over and Over_

_______Over and Over ____Over and Over_

_______I fall for you __ I try not to_  


After school, the two best friends would make their way back home. Just the words "best friends" were piercing in her thoughts because it reminded her that the relationship they shared was nothing comparable to what she wished it was. Every time she looked into his all-to-familiar green eyes she was faced with the sickening reality that all she wanted stood before her, yet he wouldn't even look at her. Not the way she wanted him to anyway; not with the same eyes she had for him

_Over and Over __Over and Over_

_Over and Over __Over and Over_

___I fall for you I try not to_

___Over and Over ____Over and Over_  


_Over and Over ____Over and Over_

___You make me fall for you You don't even try_

When she returned home, she could do nothing but fall face down onto her bed and sulk. She cried deeply into her pillow; today had been more debilitating than usual. She felt weak: her eyes, her arms, her legs, and her heart. She felt as if just the smallest push could completely shatter her. And yet she found herself recalling all of the good times and Heiji shared: all the bickering, the crime scenes and even the "Aho's". She remembered all the reasons that she had fallen in love with him in the first place.

_So many fights that I can't get out of my head_

_I try to live without you every time I do I feel dead_

She knew that he was too valuable to her as a friend to lose. She blatantly refused to risk the bond they already shared, even if it meant annihilating herself internally. And yet, she couldn't help it. No matter how much it hurt her, no matter how much she knew he wasn't worth it, she was still in love with him.

_I know what's best for me_

_But I want you instead_

_I keep on wasting all my time_

"I may love him" she thought "but that doesn't mean I have to sob here alone while I wait for him. I need to do something for myself. I need to attain my own happiness, without him." She had resolved to seek out another man, one who would love her the way she loved Heiji. And in time, she hoped she might even grown to love him to and forget about all the pain Heiji had caused her. All the anguish she had been a victim to courtesy of her best friend. All that he had done to her, and he hadn't the foggiest idea.

_Over and Over_

_Over and Over_

_You don't even try…to_


	2. Surrender by Billy Talent

"Kazuha seemed like she was in a bad mood yesterday, I hope she's a little happoer today. It's always inconvenient to be with her when she gets like that" Heiji thought to himself as he awaited her arrival at his house so they could leave for school. He had found himself considering her feelings and well-being more often than usual the past few months. For the most part he chalked it up to his ever-growing detective's intuition. And yet, the thoughts affected him differently that they had in previous years. This was more than a simple brotherly concern. He thought back to the other day, when she had shed a tear during their lunch break. She laughed it off when he noticed and made some lame excuse about seasonal allergies. Had it not been for the swarm of fellow students surrounding them, he would've been inclined to inquire further. He had been genuinely concerned for her, in a way that was almost foreign to him.

_Surrender Every Word_

_ Every Thought_

_ Every Sound_

He couldn't grasp what he was feeling in the slightest. It was as if every preconception of his friendship was crumbling to dust

_Surrender Every Touch_

_ Every Smile_

_ Every Frown_

"How can this stupid woman, with her stupid ponytail, and her stupid ribbon, and her stupid emerald green eyes that glisten when she gets really angry at me, and that ridiculous way she follows me around and makes sure I don't get hurt and her…." He suddenly felt a wrenching pain in his chest. He was lying to himself and he knew it. "Have I been lying to myself all this time? How long have I been deceiving myself?" He meditated on all of the criticism he had thrown at her in his mind, removing all the lies he'd implanted "her…beautiful eyes and her beautiful ponytail with its beautiful ribbon." He systematically reviewed every judgment he passed, dissolving the dishonesty laced within each one. "The loving way she follows me, protecting me" The pain in his chest only became more prominent with every passing second, every thought, every lie brought to light. He could only grip his chest tightly, squinted his right eye shut, trying to alleviate the brutal agony that continued to plague him

_Surrender All the pain_

_ We've endured_

_ Until now_

The truth had dawned on him with blinding clarity. He was thrown off guard by this unrelenting onslaught of painful lucidity. He was relieved, guilty, confused and any variation of remorse and joy imaginable

_Surrender All the hope_

_ That I lost_

_ You have found_

She arrived soon after, giving him a small window of time to compose himself. As they walked, she jabbered on about what he assumed to be random nothing he had no interest in, as always. Only one thought dominated his mind: How do I tell her? With this conundrum came both hope and doubt. "What if she doesn't like me in that way?" but as the same time "What if she does?" Despite his hot-blooded attitude in most situations, he could find no courage or boldness within him. After all, this wasn't some murderer on the run; this was his companion, his best friend and now, his crush. As they approached the school, his courage still failed and he could only smile half-heartedly at her as she said goodbye and ran off to meet her friends.

That day was very distinct to Heiji in three respects: One, he had forgotten his lunch. Actually, that was fairly common, what was uncommon was that Kazuha hadn't packed a spare bento for him like she always did. For years she had brought him lunch, but today, she hadn't. And in fact she had done so with not even a mention as to why or even an acknowledgment that she had forgotten. The second thing that was out of place this day was that he was lovesick. He had never felt like this, or anything close to this. He had always smirked condescendingly at the fools that whined over how sad they were because they "really liked that girl" or because "that girl hadn't talk to him all day". It seemed pathetic, yet here he was, lamenting to himself about Kazuha forgetting to make him lunch. Pitiful really. But the third and most perturbing factor that was out of sync this day was that he hadn't seen Kazuha since the morning. He usually saw her between every class and at lunch. But today there was no sign of her, at all. And, considering the newfound infatuation he had for her, this was NOT the day for her to be absent from his company. He pondered all of these things as he stood outside the school doors, waiting for the girl in question to meet him for their walk home. He looked at his watch and realized she was nearly half an hour late, which worried him further. Just as he started to consider her safety, he saw her. She was walking happily away from the school….with a guy….holding hands. He recognized the guy as Ohashi, a subordinate on the Kendo team.

_This flower don't belong to me_

_This flower don't belong to me_

_Why can't she belong to me?_

He clenched his hand into a fist, whitening his knuckles and gritting his teeth. He considering beat that guy within inches of his life until he noticed something: she was happy. They were laughing and conversing and carrying on; and she was happy. He made her happy, and as much as it sickened him, that was the important thing. He tried to masque his pain by whistling a charming melody as he made his way home….alone. Something felt wrong….no, something _was _wrong. "Was she happy, or did she just look happy?"

_I never had the nerve to ask_

_Has my moment come and passed_

"No!" he thought to himself in frustration "I'm not going to question her contentment just because it comes at the cost of my own"

_I never had the nerve to ask_

_Has my moment come and passed_

"But" he contemplated somberly "Shouldn't I at least tell her how I feel? For better or worse she should at least know right? Worst case scenario: she rejects me and I move on" He grimaced at the concept of rejection, realizing it was the most likely scenario "I don't know if I could take that, maybe its better to just bare the pain"

_I never had the nerve…to….ask_

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**For those of you keeping up with my other ongoing story, The Hand is a Dangerous Tool, don;t be alarmed. This was something that i wrote totally on a whim while i was listening to my ipod. I had a few hours to kill so i started it and from there i felt the need to finish. **

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**Oh, and don't be afraid to review my stuff. If for no other reason, it just lets me know that people are reading these. Thanks**


	3. Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons

Kazuha giggled gleefully at the peck on her cheek that she received from Ohashi before he left her doorstep. They had gone out to dinner and then rented a movie and watched it at her house. It was a comedy film, which kept the mood light. Ohashi was no fool, and he knew a romantic movie would have been horribly awkward for both of them. Their conversation during the dinner had been very superficial as well, mostly talking about school and their respective martial arts. Now she was alone, and she waltzed merrily through her bedroom door and threw herself onto her bed. This night had been the perfect pick-me-up, just what she needed. She was now left with only her thoughts as she pondered the substance of her date. While it had been fun, she new there was nothing to it, and she felt a tinge of guilt as she considered that poor guy who probably thought the date went great and he was getting a second date for sure. Despite the fun she'd had on her date, she was now, once again, plagued with unsettling thoughts of her "best friend". She was really beginning to hate that phrase.

_Sigh no more, no more_

_One foot in sea, one on shore_

As he ran, he was convinced he could get to her house in five minutes if he continued at his current pace. As he ran, he could feel his lungs about to implode, but he had been feeling that long before he started running. Truthfully, his lungs been on the verge of collapse since the second he saw Kazuha with Ohashi. He thought of their fingers interlocked, and it made him sick. But, despite his feelings, he had resolved to leave her alone. He knew it wasn't his place to pressure her into requiting his feelings, and aside from that, she was already happy without him. Yet here he was, running full speed toward what may very well have been the biggest mistake of his very young life. He still couldn't quite comprehend the reasoning behind his decision to confront her. This may have had something to do with the fact that there was no reasoning involved. But then again, reasoning wasn't really necessary in this instance

_My heart was never pure_

As she laid there, both distraught and puzzled by her ever-constant fixation on this one man, she couldn't help but wonder "If I were Heiji,, what would I be doing right now?" As she thought this, she decided to give him a call. No answer. "What could he be doing that would keep him from picking up the phone?"

_You know…me_

There were only a few reasons he wouldn't answer his phone: he was either on a case, eating or running. If he was on a case, he would have been done with it by this hour. And due to the speed at which he finishes his food, he would have called her by now. So running? He did have a tendency to run at night. But he usually only ran during the school week, and he definitely considered Friday night the weekend.

_You know….me_

"There it is! Her house is only a few yards away!" As he steadily approached her door, he stared ominously at it. "I'm here" he thought "Now what?" That was Heiji, never planning more than five minutes ahead. He raised a closed fist to knock on the door, his mind ravaged by doubt, shame, guilt and any other emotion that would discourage someone from doing what he was about to do. He squeezed his eyes tightly and, in a moment of boldness, struck the door a few times.

_Oh man is a giddy thing_

Her mind was still going in circles trying to figure exactly where Heiji could be when she heard a knock at her door. It was a fairly loud knock, almost like one that her father would employ if he was angry with her. She cringed for a moment, doing inventory over the past few days to make sure she had no reason to fear punishment. Once she reassured herself, she glided down the stairs to answer the door, opening it slowly which allowed a gust of cool air to circulate through the room. When the door was opened completely, she came face to face with a dark figure standing in her doorway, comparable only to the most stationary of statues.

_Oh man is a giddy thing_

There she was, the girl that had given him the horrible soreness in his chest the past six hours without laying a finger on him. She was standing right in front of him, just a few feet away. He stood completely still. So still, in fact, that if not for all the blood that had rushed to his face he would've assumed he'd been frozen in ice. The only evidence that he was even alive was the visible air that flowed out of his mouth with his rapid breathing. His hands were trembling, but he had them stuff so deeply in his pockets that there was no way she could have noticed. She took a step closer to him, making his hands shake more violently. After a few steps, they were face to face, separated only by a few inches.

_Oh man is a giddy thing_

"Heiji what are…" she couldn't even formulate the question in her mind. She could only stare at him. She gazed deep into his eyes, analyzing them thoroughly. She noticed no visible difference from the last time she had seen him. But this was not surprising nor disheartening because the difference she sought was not an aesthetic one.

_Love, it will not betray you_

_Dismay or enslave you_

_It will set you free_

What she searched for in his eyes was something far deeper than color or shape. She looked for something she had seen many times in her own eyes. It was something that both empowered her and demoralized her. It was a certain inner desire that could only be seen through the eyes

_There is a design_

_An alignment to cry_

_At my heart you see_

"Kazuha I…" his boldness failed him and he was left to speak despite all the fear that continued to bind his tongue

"I wanted to, well, I mean…it's just I was….look, I need to talk to you"

"Obviously" she said, looking extremely uncomfortable and straining to smile and appear normal. "Why else would you be here?" Heiji took a deep breath and composed himself

"Kazuha" his voice took on a more serious inflection "I saw you with Ohashi after school" he looked directly into her eyes as he said this, startling her to the point where she ducked her head in order to break there eye contact. After a moment of silence, she turned her back to him and shuffled into the kitchen

"Do you want tea? You look cold" she received no response. He didn't move at all, in fact. He maintained his position in her doorway. When she reappeared from the kitchen she was shocked to find he still hadn't moved. She smiled, evidently trying to fake a level of comfort with the situation that was clearly not there

"Kazuha" he repeated sternly once she had come back and readdressed him in the doorway

"What? What's the big deal? So I walked home with Ohashi-san. You know him pretty well, he's a nice guy"

_The beauty of love_

_As it was made…to…be_

They were both silent after. For what seemed like an eternity, they just stood there in the doorway. He moved his eyes around the moved erratically, trying to avoid her eyes at all costs.

"Aho are we just gonna stand here and freeze all night or what?" Throughout this whole conversation Kazuha had been dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and her pajama bottom. Needless to say she was probably freezing by now. Without response, he took a few steps past the doorway then stopped. His stop was abrupt and seemingly unnoticed by Kazuha, who had already turned around and started walking back toward the kitchen.

_Love, it will not betray you_

_Dismay or enslave you_

_It will set you free_

He took a few steps back toward the door. Once he was repositioned in the doorway, he cleared his throat and spoke up

"Why were you there with him Kazuha?" his voice was much colder now. He was stern and unrelenting, making certain she wouldn't avoid the question again. She poked her head around the corner, looking at him curiously

"This again? Look we went on a date tonight i-"

"You what!" Heiji screamed angrily, suddenly abandoning the cold, reserved façade and replacing it with uproarious fury

"Look I told you" she said, taken back slightly by his outrage "It was just a date. Don't be so weird about it; I'm free to date whoever I want"

_The beauty of love_

_As it was made…to…be_

After that, she disappeared into the kitchen again. She leaned over sink to rinse out the cup she had just used for her tea. Despite her seemingly upfront attitude, she couldn't help but think that Heiji really knew something was wrong. She continued to watch the running water hit the porcelain cup in the sink, trying to come up with an impromptu course of action.

"Kazuha!" She heard Heiji scream from the other room. She was alarmed at first by the volume of his voice, but deduced that the he had just took into consideration the distance between them and tried to compensate for it. When she went back to see what he wanted, she found him standing in the doorway again.

"Aho! Are you trying to get sick or just freeze me to death?"

"Do you like him? Are you d-d-dating now?" Once again she could hear his voice revert back to a more defensive and vulnerable tone. He seemed to have a hard time even saying the word 'dating'.

_Love, it will not betray you_

_Dismay or enslave you_

_It will set you free_

"What difference does it make if we are!" she screamed back at him. He felt his fist clench as anger once again onset and took the place of good judgment

"Because you're weren't supposed to be with him!" he roared forcefully at her, being sure to could his head down at the ground to avoid eye contact

"Is it that big of a deal that I didn't walk home with you? It's not like you're incapable of walking by yourself!"

"That's not what I meant Aho!"

_Be more like the man_

_You were made…to…be_

She heard the unmistakable seriousness in his voice. She had only heard him speak like that a few times in their entire friendship, and those times were usually directed at criminals that tried to deflect their guilt at a victim. Nothing made him angrier than a murderer that blamed a victim for their crime.

_There is a design_

_An alignment to cry_

_At my heart you see_

She approached again, closing the gap between them even further than she had a few minutes earlier. They were now chest to chest and she blushed slightly when she felt his heart beat faster at her presence. She looked up at him and awaited his eyes to lock with hers. When they did, she finally saw what she had been waiting for, the yearning deep in his eyes that she had seen so many times in her own reflection.

"What did you mean then?" She asked tenderly, not allowing her eyes to stray from his even for a second. He hesitated at first, appearing to have calmed down and now tried valiantly to conjure up something in response "Heiji…" she trailed off, squeezing his shirt tightly

"I…." he stared down at her, searching his mind for the words to say. Finally after a few moments of silence he swallowed hard and thrust his head forward and planted his lips on hers. At first the contact almost pushed her off her feet, but once she settled into position she closed her eyes and received his answer. The kiss was chaste and only lasted a few seconds. Once it was over they smiled madly at one another as Kazuha pressed her head against his chest. They held each other tightly in the doorway of her house, the wind blowing vigorously causing her ponytail to whip around behind her.

"You know I had no lunch today?" he whispered teasingly in her ear

"Of course I did" she pushed off his chest briefly, sharing a smile with him.

_The beauty of love_

_As it was made…to…be_


	4. I'm Lost Without You by Blink 182

After a year and four months of dating Heiji finally did what all men dread and anticipate: he proposed. Of course Kazuha accepted his proposal and they decided to be married in the winter which was a short five months away.

Time flew by as Kazuha made arrangements for the wedding while Heiji watched silently. After all, the business of wedding design is no place for a man, especially a husband to be. Weeks turned to months and soon the day had come for the ceremony.

The ceremony was beautiful, especially to Kazuha who had been given everything she desired down to the most minute of details. Occasionally Heiji would jest about the 'strange color scheme' or the 'frumpy bridesmaids gowns' but never did he actually move to alter anything. After the vows, the exchange of the rings and the ritualistic kiss the spouses moved to the dance floor to partake in a most sacred of traditions

"I would like to open the floor to the newlyweds, Hattori Heiji and the now Hattori Kazuha!" the announcement screamed elatedly. It took little prompting for Kazuha to drag Heiji to the dance floor as a slow and melodious tune began to fill the outdoor patio

_I swear that I_

_Can go on forever_

_Again_

"Who picked this song?" Heiji snorted with a disapproving grimace

"Don't ruin this for me Heiji" Kazuha growled, still keeping her cheek pressed firmly to his chest. Heiji took a deep breath and kissed the top of his wife's head

"Gomen, Hattori-sama" Kazuha scowled and shot a glance up at Heiji

"Are you saying I'm old?" she asked viciously, prompting Heiji to flinch slightly as a small bead of sweat ran down his right temple

"Don't be stupid Aho" Kazuha continued to stare at him for a moment then conceded to his crude apology and returned her head to his broad chest

_Please let me know_

_That my one bad day_

_Will end_

"Ne Conan-kun, doesn't Kazuha-chan look so beautiful in her wedding dress?" Ran asked Conan with a conniving grin

"I told you, you only have to call me that when people are around" Conan grumbled angrily

_I will go down_

_As your lover_

_Your friend_

"So why did Kudo-kun have to leave so quickly right after the ceremony?" Kazuha inquired in a muffled voice due to her face's position on Heiji's chest

"He said there was a development with the case he's working on, I was just happy he could be here to be the best man" Heiji smiled genuinely and looked over the nine year-old boy bickering with his nineteen year-old counterpart 'You're next, Kudo'

_Give me your lips_

_And with one kiss_

_We begin_

"You know when I was little I always thought my first kiss would be on my wedding day" Kazuha whispered in a gentle tone. Heiji raised an eyebrow and brought his head down so he could speak into her ear

"When I was little I always thought my first would be with you" Kazuha blushed madly and threw her head up to look her husband in the eyes

"Really?" she solicited in a quiet yet joyful manner

"Yeah, I always assumed you would force me to do it for some odd reason" Kazuha elation turned to annoyance as she 'hmmphed' and brought her head back down to his chest with less finesse than before

_Are you afraid of being alone_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

"Don't be so angry, it makes your face wrinkly" Kazuha did not respond verbally but did not move away from him either. She just continued to dance with her new husband whom she married even despite his personality defects

_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

"It looks like our predictions were accurate" Toyama started, addressing Heizo who was seated to his right

"Hai, although I still don't know what your daughter sees in that son of mine. I suppose he's just very lucky to have found such a forgiving woman" Toyama laughed heartily at the statement and the serious inflection with which his old friend made it

_I'll leave my room_

_Open til' sunrise_

_For you_

"Kogoro, doesn't this remind you of our wedding?" Eri asked genially, trying earnestly to converse with her still legal spouse

"Ha, I remember listening to you whine about how much your feet hurt because you had to wear those ridiculous six inch heels with the latex strap" Eri's eyes widened at her husband's amazingly accurate recollection

"I can't believe you remember something like that" Kogoro glanced at his wife momentarily before once again fixing his eyes on the dancing couple

"How could I forget? I still have a scar on my left leg from where you hit me with that heel" Eri giggled as Kogoro rolled his pant leg up to reveal a faded scar in the shape of a 'U' on the lower half of his left calf

_I'll keep my eyes_

_Patiently focused _

_On you_

"Makoto I want to be a bride!" Sonoko chanted with a starry eyed expression. Makoto pulled his collar to release the excess heat that had built up in his dress shirt

"We would need somewhere to live first Sonoko" Sonoko snorted and pulled her wallet out from her purse

"Don't be silly, we could go buy a house right now!" Makoto swallowed hard at the implication his girlfriend was making

"But I', still traveling with my collegiate karate team, I wouldn't be home much" Sonoko slouched down in her chair and sighed in defeat

"Fine but once college is done, Suzuki Sonoko is walking down the aisle!" she declared, wrapping both her arms around her boyfriend's right arm

_Where are you now_

_I can hear footsteps_

_I'm dreaming_

"Heiji…" Kazuha trailed off in a somber tone which unnerved Heiji

"What is it?" he asked gently, trying to encourage his seemingly nervous wife

"I'm said for Ran-chan, she's here all alone because that Kudo-kun jerk had to leave for his stupid case" there was a degree of spite in her voice which was not terribly uncommon for her

"Listen, we know they care about each and Kudo wouldn't do anything to hurt her so have faith in him. Besides 'neechan has that four eyed kid to keep her company" Heiji ran his fingertips along Kazuha's back, managing to send tingles down her spine even through her dress

"I guess you're right…"

_And if you will_

_Keep me from waking_

_To believe this_

'That's just like you Kazuha. Here we are dancing for the first time as a married couple and you can't stop talking about Mouri-chan and Kudo. This might be one of the most important moments of our lives and you're still thinking of your friend and her feelings…'

_Are you afraid of being alone_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

'That's how she's always been though, worrying about everyone. I can hardly leave my house without her calling to ask where I am and what I'm doing. She really can be annoying, but I can't imagine things without her there'

_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

'Look at her, she's so calm right now. I don't think I've ever seen her this still or this quiet for that matter. I wonder if she'll be like this more now that we're married. I wonder what she'll be like once we start living together, that apartment we got is pretty small'

'Mmm Heiji is so warm. He really is comfortable to lean on. He looks so handsome in his tuxedo, I never get to see him dressed up. Maybe he will now that we're married. Maybe he'll wear suits to work like the other police Inspectors do'

_Are you afraid of being alone_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

'I don't think it really matters'

_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

'She may be annoying at times but I like hearing her talk. Sometimes she says things that are actually useful. Plus she's funny, especially when she gets mad'

_Are you afraid of being alone_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

'He may look a little dorky sometimes but it's just how he is. He wouldn't be the same without that stupid hat I guess.'

_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

"Kazuha" Heiji said softly, trying to maintain the ambiance of the setting

"Hmm?" Kazuha responded half-dazed with a smile on her face as her fingers caressed the back of his neck

"Nothing, it was just weird to hear you being so quiet" Kazuha giggled into his chest and breathed tranquilly

"How can you hear someone if they're being quiet?" Heiji's eyebrow stood attention as the odd observation caught him off guard

"Well I guess silence would still count as hearing something"

"No it wouldn't" Kazuha retorted quickly, still retaining the cool and almost drowsy tone in her voice

_Are you afraid of being alone_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

"This is a stupid argument" Heiji proclaimed blatantly, allowing of a bit of an edge to surface in his tone

"Who said we were arguing? You don't have to get so mad about it" Kazuha reassured him, causing his blood to boil for a few seconds

_Are you afraid of leaving tonight_

_Cause I am_

_I'm lost without you_

He opened his mouth to fire back a response when a realization dawned on him 'How did she do that? She hardly said anything and I'm getting' all worked up. That's how it's always been, she's always had that effect on me. She makes me made, makes me worry, makes me laugh…'

_I'm lost without you_

"What would I do without you?" he asked himself in at a hardly audible volume. Kazuha's ear pricked up and she brought her eyes up to meet his

"What'd you say?"

_I'm lost without you_

"Uh nothing, nothing you're probably hearing things" Kazuha's stare sharpened as her interest was peaked

"Don't lie Hattori Heiji I'm your wife now you're not allowed to lie to me" 'she already sounds like a wife' Heiji thought in fear as Kazuha continued to glare at him

"Really, I didn't say anything"

_I'm lost without you_

"Just tell me, what could be so bad that you can't tell me?" a few newly formed streaks of sweat appeared on his brow as his spouse drilled him for an answer

"Fine fine fine" Heiji said reluctantly. Kazuha's determined expression melted into a more genuinely concerned one as Heiji began to look around the room nervously

_I'm lost without you_

"I said…" Kazuha eyes grew wider after each passing second of anticipation "I said 'Where would I be without you'…" a faint but still present flush grew on Heiji's cheeks as the admission finally crossed his lips. Kazuha remained silent more a second before she proceeded to giggle relentlessly at him

"Aho" she mumbled through her laughter. Heiji was terrified by the reaction and began to wonder whether or not she was actually laughing _at_ him. His worries were soon dissipated however as Kazuha's laughter ceased and she kissed him passionately on the lips, surprising everyone who was watching them dance but none more than Heiji himself

"What was that for?" he asked trying to attain some level of suaveness even despite his obvious confusion

"You would be completely lost without me Heiji but that's okay because I love you" Heiji smiled uncontrollably as the words played like sweet music and beautiful poetry over and over in his head. He ducked his head down and returned his wife's kiss with one of his own

_I'm lost without you_


	5. Pardon Me by Weezer

Who could have predicted that Hattori Heiji and his wife Kazuha would be the type to argue constantly? Anyone who had ever seen them in the same vicinity for more than thirty seconds that's who. They were really quite a marvel, being so obviously smitten for one another and yet so prone to fighting and outbursts of rage

I tried my best

I gave my all

After their marriage, despite their own wishful thinking they still maintained their characteristic combativeness. Of course Heiji never raised a forceful hand to his wife, although he wasn't opposed to tickling her into submission or even giving her a menacing pinch

Sometimes my best

Wasn't good enough

For you

But one night, things got a little out of hand and altered the face of their relationship permanently

_**Friday. 8:30 p.m. Four years, Eight months, Two weeks and Four days into marriage**_

_**Hattori Residence**_

"Kazuha I'm h-"

"Heiji!" Kazuha roared from the kitchen, seething with her arms crossed and her eyes boring holes into Heiji's skull

"What? I just got home what could I have done to piss you off?" Heiji snapped back, obviously fatigued as he took his belt and jacket off and threw them into a chair beside the entryway of the house

"Where have you been! It's nine-thirty, you should have been home hours ago!" Heiji sighed irately as he caressed the bridge of his nose

"I was on a case, I'm an investigator it's my job" he responded gruffly, walking past Kazuha to the refrigerator. As he opened it Kazuha quickly jumped out of her seat and ran over to slam it shut. Heiji withdrew his head from the rapidly close door and shot his wife an angry look

"Not even a call? The least you could have done was let me know you were going to miss dinner _again_!" Heiji sighed again, this time practically heaving the sigh at Kazuha

Sometimes I let you go

Sometimes I hurt you so

"Look things got a little hectic, I didn't have time to call and check in _kasan_" with that, Heiji strode past Kazuha and bee-lined for their bedroom. Kazuha, still fuming marched behind him but before she could re-engage him he spun around and grabbed her by the shoulders roughly

"H-Heiji…" Kazuha muttered, seeing fury in his eyes that she'd never seen directed at her

"Whatdya want me to say? I'm not going to apologize for doing my job!" as the intensity in his gaze heightened his grip tightened, causing Kazuha great discomfort

"Heiji you're hurting me…" Kazuha muttered almost mutely as her bottom lip started to tremble. In his blind rage Heiji didn't seem to notice the subtle tip offs

"I've been working long hours lately trying to get promoted and all you seem to do is nag at me! I don't need this!" he growled, his grip ever-tightening. Tears started to spring up in his bride's eyes as the pain became too much

"Heiji!" she shrieked, reaching a new pain threshold. In an instant Heiji's eyes softened into a confused gaze which he set on his wife. Within seconds the situation became clear and he released her arms. She looked at him for only a second before ducking her head and sprinting past him into their room, shutting the door behind her

I know that I can be the

Meanest person in the world

Heiji stood outside the door, staring blankly at his hands for what seemed like an eternity before finally dragging his feet to the couch and collapsing on it. Despite his debilitating lack of energy Heiji couldn't so much as shut his eyes. For hours he laid on his back facing the ceiling, trying to avoid any thought that led back to his wife. The night drug on for hours but, much to his relief the sun eventually exposed itself, signaling the beginning of his work day. Without a word or a sound Heiji crept out of the house, opting not to disturb Kazuha who he assumed was asleep.

So I apologize to you

And to anyone else that I hurt too

_**Saturday 10:30 p.m. Four years, Eight Months, Two Weeks and Five Days into marriage**_

"Hei-kun, you really should go home, it looks like you haven't slept in days" Otaki pleaded as he watched his rising star work himself into oblivion

"Otaki-han, I'm fine. I'm just…I need to finish up these files" Otaki shook his head and walked away, leaving the exhausted Heiji to continuing driving himself into the ground

I may not be, a perfect soul

But I can learn self control

"Where is he…" Kazuha mumbled to herself as she went about cleaning up the dishes from the meal she had prepared 'I was hoping he'd be home early so we could talk' she thought as she dried the last of the pots she had used and placed them in the cabinets above her head. She shook her head and walked out of the kitchen, turning the lights off behind her. She looked over toward her bedroom with unsure eyes 'I want to be here to see him when he gets home…' she concluded, taking a seat on the couch. She clicked the television on and began browsing through channels, hoping to find something that would hold her interest

So pardon me

Pardon me

My friend

'How am I supposed to go home after last night?' Heiji contemplated as the last of his paperwork fell into the outbox on his desk. He rose from his desk with a worried expression, torn between going home and getting a motel room for the night. He wanted to see her and resolve their conflict but something deep within him said that the second he laid eyes on her he was going to loose his mind. Just has his conviction faltered his phone began to ring in his pocket. His body tensed at the thought of his wife calling but relaxed when he saw the called I.D

"Kudo, what is it?" he asked with apparent exhaustion in his voice

"You sound beat Hattori, have you been sleeping?" Heiji shook his head into the phone

"Not much, it comes with the job. You should know how that it is. So what's up? New case?"

"No no, it's nothing like that. Actually I wanted to ask you how you and Kazuha-chan are doing" Heiji chuckled into the phone then took a deep breath

"I should have know she would call 'neechan about this. Look it's fine we just…had a fight" Shinichi rolled his eyes on the other en of the line

"Obviously, you two are always fighting"

"No Kudo, I mean we had an actual fight" Shinichi suddenly sensed the seriousness of the situation

I Never Thought

That Anyone

"What happened?" Shinichi asked with sympathy in his voice

"Well you know I've been working extra hours ever since Toyama-san announced his retirement"

"Right"

"Well the other night I got called in to work a case in Kyoto. The case took all day and most of the process was just formalities. Anyway by the time I got home it was nearly ten. I didn't call Kazuha to tell her I was going to be home late so I knew she was going to nag me like crazy" Shinichi laughed dryly

"And?"

"Well I was right. But I lost control and I…" Shinichi was on the edge of his seat by this point

"Hattori?"

"I grabbed her arms and yelled at her. But I lost control and I actually hurt her. Damnit Kudo she ran off crying!" the memory of the event sent shivers down Heiji's spine. Shinichi waited a few seconds before responding

"You want my advice?" he asked coyly, knowing full well he was going to give regardless of his friend's response

"What" he returned coldly, still preoccupied mentally with unwelcome memories

"Go talk to her. I'm sure you're only worrying her more by not coming home" Heiji took the comment into consideration before muttering a quick thanks and hanging up the phone

Was more important

Than the plans

I made

Despite his father's repeated lectures about growing up and being mature, Heiji had stood firm and held onto his motorcycle. As he rode the bike down the dark night road, his mind was spinning in circles. It was amazing how easily he could deduce complex murder methods and yet the simplest personal matter could send him through a loop

But now I feel

The shame

'How could I do that? I wonder if she'll even let me in…' he thought as the image of Kazuha kicking him out of the house for good stimulated the most pessimistic cockles of his mind

There's no one else

To blame

'It's not like I could blame her. She must think I'm a monster…'

For all the broken hearts

Scattered on the

Field of War

After a good while searching for a program to watch Kazuha had drifted of into slumber, leaving the television screen to flicker on her features. The remote control still sat in her hand, her fingers haphazardly wrapped around it. Despite the innocent and even calm state she seemed to be in, her dreams were plagued with images of loneliness and despair. This was the first night since their marriage that Heiji had failed to come home without telling her. The reality was his late nights and absences frightened her more they angered her, especially given his line of work

Sometimes I let you go

Sometimes I hurt you so

She had felt guilty about lashing out at him the other night. But to some extent she felt well within her rights, given that he had made her worry for hours. Not answering his phone and failing to come home when he usually did had left her almost terrified

I know that I can be

The meanest person

In the world

As Heiji walked toward the door the trepidation in his step was something foreign to him. He had never allowed fear of any sort to effect him, he had always been a picture of masculinity. And yet in the face of his wife he was in shambles and losing his wits

"Okay, just go in and apologize. Come on, I can do this" he said aloud, trying to comfort himself to no avail. With a loud gulp he turned the knob on his front door and slowly opened it, flinching at the loud creak. Heiji slowly poked his head in, waiting for what he thought would be a hurricane of emotion. Instead what he found was Kazuha nestled comfortably on the couch. Feeling a degree of relief Heiji stepped in the door, being sure to close it with the utmost gentleness. Luckily for him Kazuha slept like a rock so her waking up wasn't likely

So I apologize to you

And to anyone else that I hurt too

Heiji took a deep breath as he lowered himself down onto the couch beside her. Kazuha moved in her spot slightly but remained asleep. Heiji tensed as she moved but settled into the cushions behind him once she steadied. Gently he took his hand and placed it on her shoulder, shaking her slightly. Once again she shifted but did not rouse from her unconsciousness. Heiji's eyebrow twitched slightly 'Aho, sleeps like a corpse'

I may not be, a perfect soul

But I can learn self control

With a little more force Heiji shook her again, this time causing the entire upper half of her torso to shake. This time Kazuha snorted and wiped her face with her right hand before settling back into her position. Now Heiji was on the brink of annoyed as he pulled his hand of her shoulder. He inhaled deeply, intending to give her one of his patented, ear-shattering 'Aho's to jar her. Just as he reached the maximum capacity for breath in his lungs he paused.

And in my heart

I feel it's true

Suddenly a stroke of insight rushed into his mind and he let out a slow and steady breath. He blinked a few times before shaking his head and beaming down at his wife 'You bring out the worst in me'. With that he lowered his head down and whispered her name softly into her ear, making sure to trickle hot breath along the perimeter of it

So I will be

There with you so

Kazuha grinned and turned with her eyes closed, already knowing who was in front of her. Before Heiji could get a word out Kazuha had already wrapped her arms around his torso and burried her head in his shoulder

"You shouldn't make me worry like that Aho!" Heiji returned the embrace fervently, taking a deep breath and enjoying the distinct scent that belonged only to his beautiful bride

"Kazuha" he started in an even tone. Kazuha did not budge, but made a subtle noise to let him know she was listening. Heiji faltered for a second, still unsure of how she was going to react once the issue of the previous night was revisited "Kazuha I'm sorry it's just I've-"

"It's ok" she said, releasing Heiji to look into his eyes. Heiji looked at her with a puzzled expression which made her giggle. With her lips curved in a smile she brought her hands up to cup his cheeks "I know you've been stressed. It's just…when I don't know where you are it…scares me" Heiji's eyes softened as the full extent of the adoration he felt for his wife dawned on him. In one fluid motion he swiped her hand away from his face and thrust his head forward, pressing his lips firmly onto hers

Pardon me

Pardon me

My friend

"Forgive me?" he asked with a grin as his lips broke away from hers. Kazuha stared into his eyes for a beat before pressing her forehead to his and sighing

"Aho, I'll always forgive you"

Pardon Me

My friend


End file.
